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When a parent is deployed for military service, it can be a challenging time for the entire family, but especially for the children. The parent’s absence can lead to confusion, fear, and sadness. It’s important to provide the right support to help your children cope with a parent’s deployment. This article will cover various strategies and resources to lighten the emotional burden your kids might experience. Let’s dive into some practical steps and tips to make this period as manageable as possible.
Understanding Their Feelings
First, it’s important to understand that children of different ages might react differently to a parent’s deployment. Younger children may struggle with feelings of abandonment or fear, while older kids might take on more responsibilities around the house or even act out due to stress. Listen to your children and validate their feelings. Assure them that their emotions are normal and that you are there to support them through this period.
Communicate Openly
Make it a habit to talk to your children openly about the deployment. Explain to them why their parent has to leave and where they are going, in a way that is appropriate for their age. Use maps or globes to show younger children where their parent is deployed; this can help make the situation more understandable.
Establish a Routine
Consistency can be very comforting for children. Set up a daily routine that includes time for school, play, chores, and family activities. Having a regular schedule helps children feel secure and gives them a sense of normalcy. Include activities that the deployed parent used to do, like reading bedtime stories or playing games, and make sure you can maintain these routines as closely as possible.
Keep in Touch
One of the most effective ways to help your children cope is by maintaining communication with the deployed parent. Video calls, emails, and even hand-written letters from the deployed parent can go a long way in reassuring the children that their parent is safe and thinking about them. Schedule regular times for these interactions so your children have something to look forward to.
Take Advantage of Community Resources
Many communities offer specific services and support groups for families dealing with a deployment. Check your local military base for family support centers that offer counseling and activities designed to help children cope. Join local support groups where your children can share their experiences with other kids going through similar situations.
Military Family Support Centers
Military family support centers can be incredibly helpful. Here are a few you might consider:
- Fort Bragg, NC: At Fort Bragg, the Soldier and Family Assistance Center (SFAC) provides a wide range of services. You can contact them at (910) 396-8682 or visit them at 3rd Floor, Soldier & Family Readiness Center, Building #4-2843 Normandy Dr, Fort Bragg, NC 28310.
- San Diego, CA: The Navy Fleet and Family Support Center is available for all Navy families. They offer deployment readiness programs, counseling, and more. You can reach them at (619) 556-7404 or check out their office at 3005 Corbina Alley Bldg. 259 San Diego, CA 92136.
Involve Teachers and Caregivers
Informing your child’s teachers and caregivers about the deployment can ensure they receive extra support outside the home. Teachers can be more understanding regarding your child’s behavior and may offer additional emotional support. Keep the school updated on any significant changes that might affect your child’s performance or behavior.
Extra-curricular Activities
Encourage your child to participate in sports, arts, and other interests. Involvement in extra-curricular activities can offer a healthy outlet for their emotions and a break from worrying about the deployed parent. These activities also provide a sense of belonging and build their self-esteem.
Maintain Positive Attitudes
Children often take cues from their parents. Try to remain as positive and calm as possible, even if you’re feeling stressed or worried yourself. Create a hopeful environment at home. Positivity doesn’t mean ignoring real feelings or problems, but it does mean reinforcing the idea that the family can get through this together.
Celebrate Small Wins
Celebrate small wins and milestones, whether it’s a good grade, a sports achievement, or just making it through another week. These celebrations can boost your child’s morale and give them something to look forward to.
Seeking Professional Help
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your child may need professional help to cope with a parent’s deployment. Counseling can provide them with additional tools to manage their emotions. Many military families are eligible for free or discounted counseling services.
- Military OneSource: This is a great resource for free, confidential counseling services. They are available 24/7 and can be reached at 1-800-342-9647.
- Tricare: This insurance plan for military families offers mental health services, including counseling and therapy. You can find more information on their website tricare.mil.
Encouraging Independence and Responsibility
While it’s important to support your children emotionally, this is also an opportunity to teach them independence and responsibility. Assigning age-appropriate chores can help them feel like they’re contributing to the family. Celebrate the moments when they show maturity or take on new responsibilities.
Clear Expectations
Set clear expectations and guidelines for behavior and chores. Explain that everyone needs to pitch in a little more while the parent is away. Make sure to follow through with praise and positive reinforcement when your children meet these expectations.
Local Resources Tailored to Specific Needs
Every community is different, and local resources can vary widely. Here are some location-specific resources:
- Fort Hood, TX: The Fort Hood Army Community Service (ACS) offers a range of programs from family advocacy to financial readiness. Visit them at 19037 Warrior Way, Building 18000, Fort Hood, TX 76544, or call (254) 287-4227.
- Norfolk, VA: The Naval Station Norfolk Fleet and Family Support Center offers programs including family counseling and deployment readiness. Reach them at 7928 14th St, Norfolk, VA 23505 or call (757) 444-2102.
- Joint Base Lewis-McChord, WA: The Armed Forces Community Service (AFCS) provides deployment readiness and family support services. Contact them at 2013 N. 3rd St, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, WA 98433 or call (253) 967-7166.
Conclusion
Helping your children cope with a parent’s deployment requires patience, communication, and lots of love. Maintain open lines of communication, keep a routine, and take advantage of community resources. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if needed, and try to keep a positive attitude. Each member of the family will adjust differently, and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re there for each other through this challenging time.
Remember, you’re not alone. Countless families go through similar situations and come out stronger on the other side. By taking proactive steps and making use of available resources, you can help your children navigate through a parent’s deployment and emerge more resilient.
For more information, local office hours, and specific resources in your area, don’t hesitate to contact your nearest military family support center. They are there to help your family through every step of the deployment journey.