The 8 Most Useless Military Gear Items Ever Made

You know how sometimes you buy something that seems like a great idea, but then it turns out to be completely useless? Well, militaries around the world have made the same mistake – just with much bigger budgets and way worse consequences. Let’s dive into some of the most epic fails in military gear history.

1. The Krummlauf: When Someone Thought Bending Bullets Was a Good Idea

Picture this: it’s World War II, and some German engineer has what they think is a brilliant idea. “What if we could shoot around corners?” Sounds like something out of a video game, right? Enter the Krummlauf, a curved barrel attachment for rifles that was supposed to let soldiers do just that.

The reality? It was about as successful as trying to drink soup with a fork. The bullets would often shatter inside the curved barrel, and the whole thing would wear out after just 300 rounds. Plus, it turns out that shooting around corners isn’t all that useful when the barrel might just explode in your face. Talk about a design flaw!

2. The Chauchat: The Gun That Shot Its Users’ Reputation

If there was ever a “Most Likely to Fail” award in the category of military weapons, the French Chauchat light machine gun from World War I would win hands down. This thing was so bad that soldiers would pray their guns would break down so they could get a different weapon.

What made it so terrible? First off, someone thought it would be a great idea to put holes in the magazine. Yes, you read that right – holes. In a gun magazine. That was supposed to be used in trenches. Full of mud. You can guess how well that worked out. It was like designing a submarine with screen doors.

3. The Norden Bombsight: A Very Expensive Way to Miss Your Target

The Americans spent the equivalent of $1.5 billion (yes, with a B) on the Norden bombsight during WWII. The makers claimed it was so accurate it could “drop a bomb into a pickle barrel from 20,000 feet.” Spoiler alert: it couldn’t.

In reality, you’d be lucky if the bomb landed in the same zip code as your target. About half the bombs dropped missed by a quarter-mile or more. Imagine spending the cost of a small country’s GDP on a targeting system that was about as accurate as throwing darts blindfolded.

4. The M247 Sergeant York: When Military Tech Goes Rogue

This is what happens when you let a defense contractor run wild with the checkbook. The M247 Sergeant York anti-aircraft system was supposed to protect troops from enemy aircraft. Instead, it became famous for trying to shoot down… a bathroom fan.

During testing, this $6.8 billion wonder would lock onto all sorts of things that weren’t enemy aircraft – trees, buildings, and yes, that infamous latrine fan. The only things it consistently failed to track were actual aircraft. It’s like building a mouse trap that only catches your fingers.

5. The Panjandrum: Britain’s Rocket-Powered Wheel of Doom

Imagine strapping a bunch of rockets to a giant wooden wheel and calling it a weapon. That’s exactly what British engineers did with the Panjandrum. It was supposed to roll up the beaches of Normandy and blast through Nazi defenses. Instead, it created what might be the world’s first unintentional comedy show.

During its final test, this crazy contraption spun out of control, sending rockets flying in every direction while military officials dove for cover behind anything they could find. It was like a fireworks display gone wrong, except someone had planned to use this thing in combat.

6. The Ross Rifle: Canada’s Gift to Enemy Kill Counts

The Ross Rifle is proof that you shouldn’t bring a target-shooting rifle to a war. Sure, it was accurate in perfect conditions – like if you were shooting at a competition on a sunny day with your pinky out. But in the muddy trenches of WWI? It was about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

Canadian troops hated it so much they would actually search battlefields for British Lee-Enfield rifles to use instead. When your soldiers prefer to use dead men’s rifles rather than their issued weapon, you know you’ve got a problem.

7. The Bob Semple Tank: New Zealand’s Tractor in Tank’s Clothing

Imagine turning a farm tractor into a tank using only corrugated iron and pure optimism. That’s exactly what New Zealand did with the Bob Semple tank. Built from a manual found in an American tractor magazine (I’m not making this up), this “tank” was essentially a mobile shed with guns.

It was so tall and wobbly that it looked like it would tip over if someone sneezed near it. The armor was so thin that it might as well have been made of cardboard. But hey, you’ve got to admire their creativity, right?

8. Dragon’s Teeth Rifle Grenades: Japan’s Ceramic Nightmare

When Japan ran low on metal during WWII, someone had the brilliant idea to make grenades out of ceramic. You know, that same material your coffee mug is made of. Surprisingly (or not), throwing pottery filled with explosives turned out to be a bad idea.

These things were so fragile that soldiers were as likely to blow themselves up as they were to damage the enemy. It’s like playing hot potato with a live bomb that might go off if you looked at it wrong.

Looking back at these military misfires, it’s clear that even the world’s most powerful armies can make some truly head-scratching decisions. Next time you make a regrettable purchase, just remember: at least you didn’t spend billions on a weapons system that tried to shoot down a bathroom fan.

These disasters teach us that sometimes the fanciest solution isn’t the best one. Sometimes simple is better – and sometimes, maybe you should test your weird rocket-wheel before trying to use it in actual combat. Just saying.